new life, new love♥

2011-05-14T22:17:00.003+08:00

a picture says a thousand words...

i should say stupid!

2011-05-09T19:00:00.004+08:00

that reply struck me right in my face
never once that thought was going through your mind, never?
how silly am i to have that thought running through my mind since that day
how silly...
to you, i think i'm just a normal library card which whether you bring it along with you or not. it doesn't matter. cause its just a useless card with no usage...
this is how reality show me how cruel it is in life

IMY

2011-05-09T00:13:00.004+08:00

i was alright when i have things to occupy my mind
when i'm alone, i can't help but to keep thinking of it
rachel asked me, how did i overcome it so fast.
my reason was, i didn't overcome it. i'm just suppressing it, till no ones can see through it...
it was harder than what you ppl can think of...
she also ask me how can i manage to sleep through my night, my answer was
i'm tired but i can't sleep. if i slept, i will be waking every now and then.
whats the different between got sleep and waking up every now and then...
its equally tired..
that 'waking up so many times in the night' is here...
i think my face really shows how shag am i now...
gotta do something about it man
i wanna be busy like a BEE!
so i will have no extra time to even have to think about it..
because when i have the chance to even think of it, i will miss you a lot...
more than what you think it is
and when that thought came through, i wonder. what about you? are you thinking of me too?
how much courage i have just to initiate, you will never know.
since your actions already proved what you really want and you just don't wanna say, maybe its better that i just said it out.
struggling to open my mouth
saying that was like killing myself.. it hurts, so badly
this was the FIRST time i cried like a mad woman, indeed a mad woman
i didn't expect that too, didn't expect its really so MUCH

imissyou, a lot. what about you?

2011-05-02T00:18:00.002+08:00

how much longer can i endure this loneliness?

expectations

2011-04-28T00:10:00.002+08:00

while talking to my friends, i asked them about their expectations towards their bf
they came up with things which may sound unreasonable, may sound hopeless and what about mine? haha

is my expectations too high for you even to touch it?
lowering my expectation to fit yours
i saw changes in you and time can prove everything
but how much longer am i supposed to wait?
wait till the cow comes home?
why is it that when i'm starting to see some changes, and its back to original again.
having to just contact each other for just 1-3hours per day or even lesser
what kind of r/s are we in?
every now and then when i thought of it, my heart felt so heavy
i know i want changes in the way you treat me and i know, its not an immediate effect.
i will wait, but how long can i wait? few weeks? few months? or years?

do you feel the same way i felt towards you?
it will be something i might know/not know at all

my bf

2011-04-22T19:26:00.004+08:00

it was there and then, i really realized where do i really stand...
all along i only know i was important, but i was wrong to doubt my position in your heart.
now i finally realized, i wasn't just in a spot but everywhere..
it struck me of your importance in my life..
it was there and then, i know.
i know that you will be the one, but i won't expect much cause i might have disappointments in the end.
so...just follow the flow will do.

btw...what you said, it will always be a scar there. like what i did. so i'm willing to do my best to prove/ to gain it back i once had.
as for the words said, shall let the time heal...
i'm willing to walk down this road with you, as long as you're there with me.

i finally came to realize, all along you are very important to me.
deep down in my heart, you're already in it.
just that i don't dare to admit but now, who cares!
I'M PROUD TO SAY YOU'RE MY BF.

iloveyou my bf, yewjun <3

2011-04-18T00:32:00.002+08:00

if you think by breaking all contacts from you, i'm enjoying it.

the fact is i don't...

i'm crying inside, its just that you don't even know.

the power of invisible tears...

2011-04-16T20:37:00.000+08:00

where are you when i need you the most...

are you being honest to me?

2011-04-15T23:09:00.002+08:00

honest?

something amiss...

this matter is down and another matter is up

what are you hiding exactly?

some explanation?

my six sense are accurate at times so please, be honest to me.

problems after problems, i'm sick of it...

2011-04-14T16:15:00.002+08:00

tell me what to do, will you?

tell me that you're worth it, will you?

tell me i made the right decision, will you?

just tell me and encourage me to hold on, will you?

i'm getting exhausted and drained day by day

some hugs from you can definitely ease everything

2011-04-13T18:29:00.002+08:00

just got back from darling's house and my whole body is aching due to swimming..
was chatting with darling till this morning at about 2-3
and we just doze off immediately after the lights was switched off
its been so long that i last went to her house to stay, hehe feel so GOOD!
feeling tired again -.-

a little more time for me, will you?

building up

2011-04-11T12:58:00.003+08:00

maybe i should say...it was a total failure
it turn out weird in the sense, it wasn't really the one i want...
and awkwardness built in as well
so much of that appreciation, i guess this is it...

things unsaid, and i'm wondering what am i doing here...

stress building up each day, regardless anything

what am i?

and where do i stand?

some day i might just go crazy and eventually screw you ppl who make me mad.

i just got the feeling that i can't hold on any more...

signing off.......

last day at NHC

2011-04-08T23:26:00.004+08:00

i'm so looking forward for:
- sat, out to sallyjiejie & hd's house to see their baby! go out with darling!!
- sunday, out with bf (which i've been planning since..a week ago?)
so excited!! <3

yupp today marks the last day of my attachment and off to 1 week holiday lohh!!
i'm totally exhausted, like seriously..
i'm off to bed soon~
so night night peeps!
miss my bf and darling!! <3

2011-04-07T12:02:00.002+08:00

subconsciously you have named your priorities from most to least

2011-04-05T17:46:00.001+08:00

its so hard to put a smile when i'm crying inside

dinner with bf's dad too ^^

2011-04-04T00:12:00.004+08:00

had dinner with bf and his dad.
we went over to bf's friend's dad shop..
okay..it's long. haha
yupp and we had chicken rice, veggie and pumpkin prawn.
it's been so long that I actually felt this way..
it's like....having a dinner outside with 'dad', of course I know he's my bf's dad. haha
it's the feeling, I just feel awesome!
I guess I'm just feeling super grumpy this few days due to my attachments.
5 days more to go~ jiayou!!
and I'm starting to miss you already..
nights peeps!
P.S: I'm missing my darling too!! <3

april fool day!

2011-04-01T22:34:00.003+08:00

aww...how can i describe how exhausted am i now..
totally shag!!
today after attachment, went to meet darling at amk hub.
i was being fooled by her lor!
opened the COACH box and i found her shades and 2 packet of tissues -.-
hahahha i was like, HUH?! and this was my face--> o.O
ohh..and i LOVE it darling and sis! <3<3<3
gonna go sleep soon, cause i'm totally beat!
shall head to bed soon~!
and okay, i know i look really SHAG!
nights peeps!

powerhouse

2011-03-06T23:19:00.002+08:00

the outcome for drinking too much = red spots every where!! hahaha
luckily this time round was only on my hands
i can't stand the itch..... :(:(
but ytd was indeed a fun and great one.
omg and i didn't know i can be so high with my darling! hahha UNEXPECTED!
i guess i really drank too much already...
and oh god! the dance floor is super crowded!
we're literally like walking sandwiches! LOL!
i guess the most hilarious is the part where ben has his moves! hahahah!!!
overall it was nice, hmm i should say GREAT haha!
signing off~!

wahaha

2011-03-03T12:44:00.004+08:00

whats interesting this few days?
hmmm lappy crashed on me? hahah
what does it signifies?
a new beginning? but to what?
the last 2 times my lappy crashed on me, it was telling me that it's time to start something new... so what about now?
everything should start afresh? or what does it really means? wonder~

it seems like everything and everyone around me was not happy with their lives and things wasn't smooth at all...
some really was on cloud nine but some really went to hell
do human likes to see people in agony then they will be happy? isn't that scary?
will there be even someone whom will sacrifice anything just for the sake to make you just smile?
i guess its rare to the max
no no, i should say the only people who will truly do anything for you will be your parents
treasure them people, you might not know what will happen to them the next minute

all jerks don't deserve anything especially love!
DAMN YOU, JERK!

2011-02-25T23:27:00.000+08:00

depressed...

theory of rice

2011-02-22T15:15:00.004+08:00

the smell of the rain makes me think of many things in the past
in the midst of studying, i'm here blogging. lol
many many things happen just right in the beginning of the year.
be it happy/sad
what are the reasons for all the quarrels, breakups and getting into a r/s?
there's only 1 thing, TRUST
because your trust wavered, thats when you guys quarrel
because there's no trust, which leads to breakup
because there's trust, there's r/s.
and get to the main point, what makes your trust wavered?
simply, its just MISCOMMUNICATION. *unless someone did something wrong*
have you had the feelings of not to face it? as in the problems
because its just too complicated?
why ppl nowadays just don't know how to simplify things?
is a complicated angle better looking than others?
when things can be straight to the point, why is there a must to beat about the bush?

r/s is like having a bowl of rice
when its pipping hot, it taste wonderful
but once it turns cold. you despised it.
don't you know that, rice can be nice even when its cold?
a good example will be SUSHI
doesn't mean that when a r/s turns cold, you discard or despised it.
there's ways to spice up a r/s, be it anyway that is possible
add ingredients into that bowl of cold rice and turn it into a plate of sushi
it will be tasty too.
all kinds of r/s sure will work out, it just depends on how much effort and time you put in.
and how much time you spent just to spice up every bit in your life.
believe that its fate which brings the both of you together or apart
there will be reasons for this significant fate

okay! gotta start mugging already!

2011-02-09T00:25:00.003+08:00

no one will understand what i really went through...
can this be solved?
can it be back to where it used to be?
every now and then, when i thought of it. it just made me tear...
i'm so afraid i might collapse or turned into someone whom i don't even know
its hard...very hard
i'm saving all my tears just to put a smile on my face
i'm doing my very best to put a smile
please don't take off that smiley mask of mine because i really need that.
just tell me, i'm doing great with that smile will do.
just tell me, everything will be okay.
just tell me, you will be there for me.
thats all i need...
no more heart wrenching thingy coming. i really need a break, a long one instead..
i need to rest my heart, mind and as well as my soul.
they are all exhausted to the maximum.

2011-01-24T22:24:00.002+08:00

is this what i earn for being the good person?
sudden fear of everything might fall apart
this fear is constantly reminding me...
treating ppl good aren't the best because the outcome might be you getting hurt instead
我真的很累了
我真的好希望有个shoulder to lean on...
at least let me know, there's still someone who care that much for me..
night night...

job well done!

2011-01-18T22:41:00.003+08:00

grats to myself! hahahaa
today i had my lab skill test and i PASSED!!
i had gloving and catheterization tested! hahah
and this is what i've been praying for and it came true! <3
i'm so happy that i've passed! keke
i still gotta study hard for this friday's bio practical test...
jiayou jiayou!!

i wonder why i always have this on-off headache
why can't it just stop... hai!
i'm bored man... super!
and i miss.... keke!

life is wonderful?

2011-01-17T22:29:00.002+08:00

15 jan
went to eat loklok again with rendy, ruisheng and their friends. as usual
reached home at about 3.15am and i'm tired to the max! plus SUPER FULL!

16jan
woke up at 8am and went to the market and help my mum. imma pro man! to sleep for 5hrs plus...
but of course, when i reach home the first thing i'll do is SLEEP! hahha!

17jan
sch starts early today, at 8am! so gotta wake up at 7.
managed to reach sch on the dot hahah!
can't really concentrate during lectures cause i'm dozing off as well as stressed about tmr's nursing skill test!
up till now, i only managed to study part of it and not all of it... :(
i've got no mood to study at all, i don't even know whats the cause...forget it then!
when i got home today, i slept for nearly 3hrs. a very powerful nap indeed! hahaha
was alone whole day, is only right until sis reach home then i feel better hahah!
cause i scared to stay at home alone while its RAINING! *cause i scared of thunder and lightning! :(:(*
but luckily there's none ^^
hai..i just hope that i'll pass tmr's skill test.. so as my friends :)
feeling sleepy already...gotta go!
night peeps! <3

its been so long...

2011-01-13T22:43:00.000+08:00

i'm happy to know the truth

lok lok session

2011-01-10T02:25:00.002+08:00

just came back from Malaysia for lok lok session and now I'm damn full after washing up!!
how am I going to sleep... lol
and am I able to wake up later at 7am? latest? hahaha
went Malaysia with ruisheng,shifu and his group of friends whom some I've already know.
the reason I'm here is because I'm too full to shut my eyes and sleep...
but still, I'll try my best to sleep, cause tmr I need to be early..!
so...night peeps!! love you guys!!

one of my wish...

2011-01-06T22:27:00.001+08:00

go to the WAVE BRIDGE!!

2days more to 20!

2011-01-05T23:02:00.003+08:00

in 2days time it will be my birthday! hmm to be exact should be 1day.. haha
i don't know why but just got no mood to celebrate it at all, not sure whats the cause
but still gonna celebrate with my darling and sis! <3
i got a belated Christmas present and an advance birthday present from my dear friend weeyang.
he bought a box of ROYCE dark chocolate for me *its damn nice!* for my belated Christmas present.
as for my advance birthday present, he bought me a BEBE tee which is like..ex? LOL!
but still, THANKS!!
suppose to meet my shifu and ruisheng for movie tmr, but all the timing clash with my sch's open house thingy -.-
another time then!
I'M FREAKING 20 YEARS OLD!!! o.m.g
i wonder will this year be a good year for me? or its another shitty year...?
*hope it will be good ba*
and last note here, i'm still freaking SICK!!!
i wanna recover so i can eat lots of food! keke
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
its just 2days time and i'll be 20!!!
hahah gotta go sleep already! nights all!
love you guys many many! <3

romantic lunch ^^

2010-12-29T01:22:00.003+08:00

today went out with joyce to find vanessa at j8
we had our romantic lunch at ajisen hahah
after lunch, we went back to amk to sing K! LOL!
this is the 2nd time i'm going in this month...
but it was GREAT! hahaha
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
promise my shifu that i'll have no emo post from now on
be it blog or facebook. hahaha
i think i can do it!
if not i'm gonna TREAT him!! hahahaha!
and..he can happily say, don't need jiayou laa, just treat me can le. LOL!?
what a shifu -.-
*if he sees this, i'll be in deep SHIT!*
hmm i think thats for today le ba.
nights peeps! with lots and lots of LOVE!

2010-12-28T00:19:00.001+08:00

i miss you, what about you?

2010-12-27T22:15:00.004+08:00

today went out for movie with rendy and ruisheng.
we watched 'gulliver travel'
hmm to be honest, its an okay movie only...
and ruisheng is good enough to tell me that i should thank him for his 2 pieces of nachos! LOL!
when 1 is already SOFT!
but still thanks to the both of them for the movie!
and ice cream too! was thinking of eating ice cream since last week hehe
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
how i wish there's a time where i can really tell you how i feel and for you to tell me too..
but i wouldn't dare to say.
what if we can't even be friends how?
i will rather choose not to tell, at least we still can remain as friends. right?
i just miss you so much...hai... <3

i don't feel good, at all!!

2010-12-22T23:16:00.003+08:00

things aren't going any better at all...
this isn't what i want for a family...
its becoming from bad to worse. and its seriously worst
what exactly is happening man!
hai... no one really understand except ourselves..
i really wish it can be better
i've cried, not just once
i badly in need of a shoulder to lean on and cry out...
when i'm done bottling up things, i'll explode!!!
my heart just felt so heavy, as though something is pressing hard on it
i don't even feel like coming back at all...
the feeling isn't what i used to feel back then
my mood is rather down this few days...
i need to go out and get some fresh air...
:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(

am i contented enough?

2010-12-20T22:02:00.005+08:00

when you talk to me, i'm really kinda shock
didn't thought that you will still talk to me.. hahha
went chomp chomp for your dinner was good enough for me already..
this is the BEST Christmas pressie i've ever had... i'm serious
and this is what i wish for this morning when i saw the time @ 11.11am
it really came true or is it just pure luck? hmm...?
lastly, i still wish/want you to be my birthday pressie...
as a friend will be good enough
and i'm contented already...

i'll stand firm

2010-12-19T23:14:00.003+08:00

i'll change my mind once i've met the right one in my life...
but now, i just wish to be who i wanna be.
i got no energy to commit in any r/s at all
even though this guy seems good.
but i still think that you're not the right one for me.
maybe i should say, now is not the right time for me to commit
be it anything at this point of time...

on the 17th dec, i attended my cousin's wedding...
her wedding was such a fabulous one which i will rmb it for life.
so so so romantic and fairytale like
when they had their speech, the newly wed thank their parents for bringing them up
hugging their parents with their greatest love...
it just knock me down, a hard one somemore...
suddenly i went deep into my thoughts
thinking, what will it be like if my dad was still around when i get married some day
i will surely thank him from deep down and give him the best and the tightest hugs i can give.
and not forgetting a kiss on his cheek to thank him and my mum for everything...
i also have this dream of having my dad to walk me down the aisle some day in the future. :(

if another chance was to be given to me, i'll make the best out of it...

speechless...

2010-12-18T22:03:00.002+08:00

am i sick in the mind or body?
why do i always wake up at about 4-5am in the morning and can't get back to sleep...
then at about 6-7 i fall deeply asleep... -.-
then now..my timing really gone case, feel so tired every now and then
stomach isn't feeling right too...WHATS WRONG MAN!!
ytd i got to know that my attachment is out, again.
21 march - 8 april 2011
next week is holiday already, why i just can't seem to enjoy every bit of it.

i cast you out of my life, doesn't mean i'll accept whoever wants to be in.

i'm B positive!!

2010-12-03T19:32:00.002+08:00

today i received a mail from the blood donation thingy..
hahaha i finally know whats my blood type! its B+ keke
i'm going for the next round of blood donation next year!
i felt so good after donating, is like i can help ppl that kind of feeling.
it just feel so great!
i'm wondering why am i feeling so hungry nowadays...
weird! LOL
and i feel so sleepy now le, shall endure in awhile then go sleep ^^
i'm counting down for my precious nephew to come out!! keke <3

side track:
I climb so high just to reach out for you but you just left me hanging there. when I'm drained, I'll just let go. and it will be over.

even

2010-12-02T18:34:00.001+08:00

even the longest r/s can end at a blink of eyes... no matter how much you put in in the past, it's over.

and yes, this is what my friend encounter. i really feel sad but happy at the same time.
being sad is because that freaking guy cheated her feelings and his reasons are all BULLSHITSSS!!
happy because she finally can get out of his life. if she knows how to think, she will probably get out of it fully!
how can guys be so pathetic and scary to this extend of 2-timing...
all this kind of guys can really freak off and stay out of every single women's life!
retarded bastard....!
why can't the guys treat their girl better or the best that they can?
why can't they just be devoted and stop flirting around
having a charming face won't get you anywhere! charm won't last please!
only great personalities stays forever
wake up your idea and stop living in fantasy world
and no matter what, when its time to wake up. you gotta wake up.
instead of thinking about the fantasy world, why not just make use of that time and love the girl who is special to you.
can't you guys just WAKE UP!!
haiz...
pathetic guys...

BLOOD DONATION~!

2010-11-26T23:20:00.003+08:00

today was great!
went for blood donation and i feel damn hungry and damn energetic!
hahaha! okay...i'm feeling a little hungry right here. LOL!
first! i don't intend to go for that donation thingy, but since my dear friends all went. therefore i've decided to go for it. 7 ppl went to have their HB tested and only 3 of 'us' can donate. get the hint?? lol
so the 3 left is vani, jas and me!
the 4 not chosen is pearlyn, yihui, rachel and francina.. ahahah
first i got super super nervous. *trembling*
because NO ONE IS WITH ME AT THAT POINT OF TIME!
okay nvm, i've passed all the test needed and proceed to the donating area and wait...
when its my turn, i really feel like running away hahaha! *but of course i didn't*
i took up my courage and walk towards the chair. *still trembling, LOL*
few guys talked to me, but didn't care much cause i'm just too nervous
when its my turn, they injected me with some sedatives to numb my veins and proceed to the THICK needle..
i'm literally stun and speechless...
everyone knows i'm terribly scared of needles but i'm willing to give it a try.
its yakult straw that kind of thick!
my mind went blank! hahaha my GOD!
but i should thank the person who invented that sedatives! LOL!
cause i really can't feel that thick needle poking me.*relieved*
actually it was fast, within 10mins 1 packet of my blood is out of my boby!
ISN'T THAT COOL?!
and i went to touch the tubing, IT WAS WARM! *for godness sake i'm human -.-*
above are the pictures after i did the donation.
didn't capture it when i'm donating because pearlyn kidnap my phone!! keke
yea..thats all for today.
and i've going malaysia tmr! with sis and darling and her family! <3
i'll be enjoying my saturday! wooohooo~!
waiting for darling to call me so i can go fetch her...
thats all! night peeps!

worst

2010-11-25T22:14:00.002+08:00

didn't feel good for the whole day...
bad bad headache and stomach pain
today is the worst day so far...
AHH! i don't understand statistic at all!!
help~ help~
stats is so hard to digest... and i'm gonna be so dead
today is the 2nd stats lesson and i manage to understand a 'little'
BUT majority is, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE LECTURER IS TALKING ABOUT!!
ohh god.... what can i do... i need help
stats is a killer module!
haiz...
okay, i shall not talk about all this unhappy things liao.
i'm going meleka with darling's family and sis on this coming sat! hehe
gotta enjoy all i can! wahahah!
but before i can enjoy, i need to endure through friday first.
lesson starts at 8am and ends at 6pm!!! FREAK!
gotta head to bed already!
night peeps!

i...

2010-11-22T23:48:00.003+08:00

i'm not feeling good
i'm not happy
i'm simply devastated
i'm tired
i'm beat
i need a shoulder
i wanna cry
i just hope someone will treat me truthfully
someone who really loves me with all his heart...
i'm off to bed, now.
:(
:(
:(

addicted to you~

2010-11-21T23:57:00.001+08:00

in a few minutes and its monday...monday blue!~
gotta head to bed now..
night peeps!
Song: Addicted

你...

2010-11-20T21:53:00.002+08:00

i want you as my birthday pressie next year...
P.S: which is impossible i guess... :(

happy/troubled?

2010-11-19T22:59:00.002+08:00

had a sumptuous sushi buffet today and a cup of koi for the beverage ^^

what can i say when i'm feeling so not-sure of what i want now..
this thought kept running through my mind, why must a relationship start when you know its going to end?
is it because there's a possibility that the outcome might change? a happy ending?
why do ppl wanna get into a r/s when there's no happy ending, thats really suffering for either side.
yes, for once i've said that everyone got their chance to seize the opportunity to have their happiness but, what if that happiness is just a short period of it?
isn't it suffocating to end it?
everyone deserves a chance to get what they are yearning for.
everyone, indeed, deserves a chance to be loved and cared for.
planning to step into your partner's life, make sure you live the best out of it.
giving him/her your best because they deserved that.
having to step into their lives, make a mess and get out. thats call irresponsible!
my lecturer once told us, 'in marriage, male wants sex and female wants security.'and 'men are like light bulbs and women are like iron'
how true is that?there's thousands of questions running through my mind.
here, there and every where..
now that i know thats not the reason for everything so what exactly it is...
i'm better off not knowing anything in the first place..
at least i'm happy and not troubled.

-.-

2010-11-18T22:51:00.001+08:00

i just don't know what to post here...
oh ya..got my hair cut ytd.
i'm gonna go sleep soon...nighty!

monday blues

2010-11-15T22:45:00.004+08:00

HELLO PEEPS!
its been so long that i have any posts here..
because i'm so packed with my attachments lately, but now i'm free from those attachments.
but, school is here!
gotta endure the long hours of lecture again...
out of a sudden, every memory of you kept flooding out of my mind.
every inch of it...
but, thats not the main point.
today is the first day of school and i had lesson from 8am-6pm! awesome isn't it -.-
Monday Blues! and i'm in blue today too! hahaha
tmr is going to be a long day too...until 6pm again :(
maybe i shall head to bed early?

sometimes i just miss you so badly but like i've said, its the past and thats not my main point in life..
night peeps!
loves

5days more!

2010-11-07T20:44:00.002+08:00

i'm so sick...
bad flu, bad sore throat...what else?!
its been so cooling this few nights and chilling!
tmr gonna work and its the last week! 5days more! jiayou!
i can't wait for next friday to come...
i need more sleep!
i feel so blur and get so tired easily..

am i that old? o.o

2010-11-01T23:31:00.004+08:00

patient's mum: can help my son change his clothes?
me: sure! :)
*when its done*
patient's mum: say thank you auntie :)
patient: thank you auntie! ^^
me: o.o! no problem... :)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LOL! am i that old to be called auntie?!
hahahaha!
but the patients(kids)there are damn adorable but very ke lian :(
today's time pass real fast! and i'm so tired!
my bed is calling me~ i shall go and sleep soon..
night night!

KK posting

2010-11-01T10:52:00.004+08:00

today is a start of attachment again, but this time round is at KK
I hope for the 9days it will be good. hahaa
working afternoon shift today and 9pm then off work -.-
tired tired!
I wish my attachment end fast! so I can enjoy even though i have to go to sch...
currently I'm at the market waiting for the time to pass then I'll be heading to work..
I'm just so sleepy, wondering what's the work pace like at KK...?
that's all for now :)
gonna go read my book now~!
bye

2010-10-31T22:35:00.001+08:00

"you're going to come across people in your life who say all the right words at all the right times. but in the end, it's always their actions you should judge them by. it's actions, not words, that matter."

normal vaginal delivery ^0^

2010-10-26T19:55:00.002+08:00

today i've witnessed 2 normal vaginal delivery
its freaking COOL!
especially the pushing part is exciting! lol
when the baby comes out, its so touching when you see a new life has arrived
that kind of feelings cannot be describe in words...
at that point of time, i feel like getting married and have my own family hahaha!
its such a heart warming scene to see :)

what a long day for me... tired!
and guess what, dinner is my very first meal of the day for today
pathetic man! hahaha!
i wanna watch movie! i wanna watch The Town, cause it seems nice! or i should say, very nice?
i just wanna go out, any where will do. a day off is good enough...
i'm beat!!
time to bathe and rest already!
bye~!

thats the case...?

2010-10-25T20:44:00.002+08:00

today i bathe a baby and its a baby girl haha!
when cleaning her up, she pass motion and urine after i remove the diapers -.-
the urine was like shooting towards me hahah and luckily never hit me.
after wiping her clean enough, i carried her to the basin and bathe her..
she's just so adorable!
some more she's just 2days old ^0^

through the things i see, so thats the reason for your leave?
now i finally get it...
hahaha how silly it is for me to dwell on it
get up~ get up~ and move on~!
i'm done with it!
i'm so tired...i'm off to bed after i bathe.. nights!

s.i.l.l.y

2010-10-24T23:48:00.002+08:00

gastric pain is a killer to me...
pain pain go away will you? :(
my eyes got so pain and uncomfortable due to the haze...
its been like this for few days already and its irritating!

Quote: 'but for people who really loves you, please do not do that...'
for you guys to say this is easy...don't treat your love ones as rubbish
but why do guys still wanna treat me this way? rubbish? i don't know...
is the reason(s) so painful for me that i shouldn't even know it?
or is just an excuse for you to leave?
its silly of me to keep thinking of it...
without a proper ending, a proper full-stop i just can't stop thinking about it.
what exactly turn everything around? what exactly is running through your mind?
what exactly happened? i'm totally clueless...
how silly of me.haha..

why me...?

2010-10-23T00:04:00.004+08:00

now then i realize i'm just someone you can thought of when you're all alone..
something like a substitute?
seriously i hate it...
how i wish i can break all sorts of contacts with you...
just don't treat me like i'm supposed to do that..
i'm not who i used to be, the weak and vulnerable one already.
lastly i don't really bother about anything, which includes you.

Zzzz....

2010-10-21T05:58:00.002+08:00

morning peeps!
I manage to wake up and be on time I guess.. lol
currently I'm waiting for my bus now.. just feel so sleepy
I'm also hungry now... :(
btw, saw your car pass by ytd but don't think is you ba...
cause you should be working?
hahah forget it...
the haze is really omg..
and it's gonna rain soon, just hope that it won't rain before I reach my work place.
no thunder please!! lol :)
I shall shut my eyes and rest awhile..
bye~!

sleepy head~

2010-10-20T15:13:00.002+08:00

having this mass cramps on my abdomen...
and pain on my feet due to ytd a clip file drop straight onto my feet...
stand also pain sit also pain!
why do I have so many problems?! lol
one of my patient was being transfer to the labour ward just now.
she's gonna deliver the baby soon!!! aww... so good!
my friends are all saying bye to me :(
gotta endure until 9pm! that's so late...
and I'm feeling sleepy now... help~! hahahha!
I shall make full use of my 30mins break and enjoy the sofa sit!

遗失的美好。。。

2010-10-20T01:17:00.003+08:00

i'm sort of yewjun's private nurse now! hahaha
cause he got bike accident then he hurt himself. therefore, i help him do the dressing! hahaha
to all bikers, drive with care please!
have been sleeping damn damn late this few days...
i'm wondering how am i going to wake up on thursday morning -.-
when wednesday night 9pm then off work, thursday morning 5am need to wake up...
i need a magical alarm clock!
and i guess everytime before i go sleep, i shall bang my head on the wall first..
therefore i can go sleep straight away.
if not, my mind kept thinking about the past.
especially the days when we're on cloud nine...
roller blading and all was the most enjoyable days for me...
i hardly have enough sleep nowadays and a 10mins nap will really do wonders!
therefore, i'm off to BED!
night guys!
without me saying much, you know i love you...
love you guys!

when...?

2010-10-17T23:45:00.000+08:00

when will you eventually tell me your reasons????

gyn postings :)

2010-10-17T21:28:00.002+08:00

tmr is the start of my attachment, again.
its gonna be 2weeks at sgh and 2weeks at kkh
it will be a tiring day for me soon...
with insufficient sleep and long standing hours...
gotta ENDURE!
sleeping early tonight i guess. hope i won't be late tmr! hahaha :P
meeting tiantian tmr at amk mrt and jas at outram mrt.
hope my shift will be the same as them..

i miss you...

KITES!!!

2010-10-12T23:13:00.002+08:00

I'M SO HAPPY TODAY!!!
because i flew a kite today and we flew it damn damn HIGH!
went to marina barrage with darling and her sis
aww i'm just so in love with that Mr Kite! hahaha
the feeling of setting it free up in the sky is so good! simply GREAT!
i'm so gonna fly it again!
or i should say, maybe i just get 1 bigger kite and longer string...then go fly!
I LOVE FLYING KITE!!!!
ohh btw..that place is so so so romantic too.
if i got bf i'll go with him. ;P
i just love that place...
if the sky wasn't so cloudy, i would have gaze upon the stars...
it will be GREAT!!
i'm feeling hungry now... :(
shall endure...!
gambateh!

i thank you

2010-10-10T23:17:00.003+08:00

i believe that one day, i'll meet that 'someone'
because by believing, i'll be happier
those things i've listed in my post about what i wanna do during this holiday,
i think i can't fulfilled it ba...
due to darling's busy schedule and sis's packed project work..
they have no time for me :(
i can only stone at home.. poor me..
thinking and thinking...
thinking about, how am i going to celebrate my 20th birthday
thinking about, when will i get a life
thinking about, when will my life change *even though i think i've changed a lot*
thinking about, when will i get my very own car :P
lastly, thinking of when i'll be attached again. HAHAHA!
BUT, currently i still don't wish to be attached :)
i still wanna go out and make more new friends, make my social circle broader.
was planning not to celebrate my birthday next year...we'll see how ba
there's currently no one particular staying in my heart,
but there sure do have memories. lots and lots of memories which are very precious to me...
this memories are the one which made who i am now.
be it character, personalities or whatsoever..
every past of mine, are precious because its a learning journey for me
be it hard, painful, happy, sad, or joyful
i sincerely thank everyone who have/had appear in my life
making me sad or happy, it doesn't matter. its the past isn't it?
humans tend to look back into the past and feel sad and regretted
but for me, no!
i believe its fated and i hate to use regret this word in my life.
therefore, what i've done i won't regret.
last but not least, i still wanna thank those who once hurt me, love me, hate me, loathe me and rejected me.
have an early night peeps...

taken for granted?

2010-10-06T19:34:00.003+08:00

all of a sudden, i feel that i'm being used again, like as though only when ppl need me then they'll call or find me...
don't treat me as though i'm dumb...
had rocher dao huay last night and its NICE!
and because i eat it so slowly, the ants come and snatch my dao huay too! damn it!
so bored so bored so bored...
now i'm craving for ice kachiang!
aww..my fore arm got so ache after playing badminton with shuangjie ytd.
but, 'VITAS' the aching lotion/gel helped me a lot! wahaha!
i'm so bored...who is willing to bring me out~
lol!
shall see...

if you love her/him, let them go. you might not know, there might be someone better waiting for you..

khaw baby jiayou!

2010-10-05T23:05:00.003+08:00

today wainjiejie went for checkup, and there's a possibility that baby might come out early..:(
so khaw baby! must jiayou! stay healthy in mummy's womb!
we're more than happy to welcome you to the world and most importantly our KhawFamily.
love you 的姑姑. ^0^

off limit...

2010-10-05T01:23:00.001+08:00

the percentage of missing you is way off the limit today...
I can't help it but 'sent'

happy birthday korkor!

2010-10-04T14:43:00.002+08:00

to my dearest khaw korkor,
happy birthday!!
you're officially 28! LOL
wish you all the best and be the best daddy and best husband!
爱你的姐姐!
hehe

things i wanna do

2010-10-02T20:18:00.002+08:00

things i wanna do for this 2weeks (if possible)
-watch sunset or sun rise
-fly kite
-roller blade
-play indoor badminton
-have a cold rock ice cream
-kbox
-gaze upon the stars
-have rocher tao huay
-chill out with friends too
and many many more if i can..

storage

2010-10-02T10:30:00.003+08:00

对你的爱，我只能默默的放在心里。藏起来是最好的决定。
对你，对我都好。

its always been you...

2010-09-30T21:55:00.002+08:00

reminiscing the past...

observations ONLY!

2010-09-28T00:02:00.004+08:00

today is the first polyclinic posting and ITS FREAKING BORING!!!
i'm trying to stay awake in the meanwhile...
because there's no hands on, only observations!!!
and i shall practice some 'head drop' technique
its really kinda late already and i'm going to bed soon~!
i'm just so tired, 24hours is still not enough for me. i need more time, just to sleep!
nights guys!
loves

last day of GPSS!

2010-09-26T11:59:00.003+08:00

today is the last day of GPSS and it will be great!
i'm so going to enjoy myself!
and yess...from the start of tmr is my polyclinic attachment and it will be BORING~!
posted to outram polyclinic, its like sooo farrr~
gonna squeeze the mrt with all the ppl which i don't really like..
my girls are going to imh tmr for their posting..
hope they really enjoy :)
after next week is HOLIDAY!! but only for 2weeks..hahah!
better than nothing ^0^
okay, i'm gonna go prepare now and meet my darling soon!
and workkkk after that!!
cya guys!

IMH posting

2010-09-23T23:00:00.003+08:00

how great is that when IMH posting is coming to an end..
and is another week of polyclinic posting and we're all done with it!
sad to say that in another 3weeks time, i'm having my gynae and paediatric posting
so means...i'm able to see the delivery of babies and handling of babies!! *excited!*
luckily i still have 2weeks of break, if not i'll be so dead!
i'm gonna miss my patients from IMH!
because they're DAMN CUTE and funny in their ways!
i wish them all the best..i really hope that their family members will visit them often. because they really miss them a lot...
i'm so going to fly kite during my breaks!
okay, i'm done for today. my bed is calling me already~!
nights guys!
i miss my girls and darling so much!! :(

我还可以再相信吗？

2010-09-20T05:58:00.004+08:00

I'm simply stunned by what you did for me..
even though is just a dinner and you bought that gorgeous flowers for me..
I really really appreciate that thoughtfulness
greatly appreciated!
this is my very first bouquet of flowers.
you will be rmb as the first guy who gave me flowers, no worries man. lol!!
I wont expect much for this time round cause I'm done expecting..
like what I've promise, no more comparison.
we just leave it to fate shall we? just let the nature take it's course...
如果我们真的会在一起，终究我们一定会。
如果命运不允许，那我们就面对事实吧，好吗？

my very first bouquet of flowers

2010-09-19T23:34:00.000+08:00

明天会更好!

2010-09-13T00:32:00.003+08:00

keep tossing and turning on my bed
trying to get some sleep here but I simply can't...
am I too excited about tmr's attachment or what's the cause of it?
I'm beat, but I just don't understand why can't I just sleep.
try to get some sleep now ba, if not it's really too late le.
晚安!!

dinner on monday, anyone?

2010-09-11T12:55:00.002+08:00

i'm deployed for today and tmr
from 4-8pm @ion
its gonna be a long day for me...
anyone wanna look for me, feel free to find me there hahaha!
outside ion ^0^
monday is the first day of my attachment.
anyone wanna have dinner with me on monday? hmm..
cause there won't be any dinner at home. :\
i'm not in the mood to blog any more, guess i'm too tired already
i shall go rest awhile then :)

have you thought of it?

2010-09-09T16:57:00.004+08:00

while i was bathing just now...
i kept thinking
will anyone of you guys tell your love ones that you love them on daily basis?
because after that incident which we almost got road accident, i really did some thinking
will you ppl put down your ego and tell the one you love that you love them?
or being as brave as you can to tell that guy/girl that you've been secretly admiring them?
will you even bother going after what you're yearning for?
will you even appreciate your love ones? like now? before its really too late..
out of a sudden, i rmb that one dream which really scare the shit out of me.
waking up in tears and sobbing uncontrollably
i rmb how horrified i am at that point of time...
but being able to know that your love one is still there, its really a relief
because thats when you realised, its just a dream
will you really seize that opportunity to grab hold to the things you want so badly?
pursue what you really wanted since decades ago?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
a kind note to you guys/girls:
treasure what you have now before everything is too late.
be thankful to what you have now and don't take it for granted.
make sure you thank the person who have made your day bright.
and thank the person who have made your day sucks, because life is like a learning journey.
learn something new, gain something right
forgo those unpleasant moments and the good things will come in your way.
trust the person you love, without holding back anything
and you will be on your way to your happiness...

a KOI a day keeps the doctor away ^o^

2010-09-09T15:51:00.003+08:00

i realised i've been blogging everyday -.-
thats really free of me haha!
today is the last paper! and i'm free now!!!
i feel so relaxed and stress-free.
got my hair cut just now and feel so light on the head hahaa
should i dye my hair or just remain this way...?
see how it goes ba...
went to buy KOI just now with darling ^^
a KOI a day keeps the doctor away~!
okay, i feel like sleeping man...
tmr still gotta head to market because its Hari Raya!
busy busy busy~!
time really pass so fast, weekend is here again!
attachment on monday, which is next week!!
gotta reach there by 8am, this timing sure have to squeeze with a lot of ppl :(
i'll try to squeeze my way through to get onto that bus! no matter what!! hahaha
*excited!!*
IMH here i come~!

肚子好饿!!

2010-09-09T01:49:00.002+08:00

okay i tell you now!
I AM VERY HUNGRY NOWWWWW!!!
i can even eat a dinosaurs!
so hungry... :(
i wanna eat something but there's simply nothing to eat at home...
wanna go out buy but i scare.. LOL
i'm starving.... sobs!
can't sleep and thats the worst!
how come...
i'm so tired and i can't sleep
WEIRD!
tmr is my last paper and i'll be free from exam stress
but...next week is the start of my attachment already. sian
shift work again :(
gotta wake up so early and squeeze bus 88 with a lot of ppl -.-
omg...wish me all the best ba!!
seriously i think i better get some sleep before i really turn into a panda. LOL
nights all
love you all the most

sorry...

2010-09-08T19:04:00.006+08:00

sorry if my words did hurt you
because i don't wanna hurt myself
being so harsh is the only way to protect myself
so pardon me for treating you this way..
hope we still can remain as friends...

Mazda so what!!

2010-09-08T14:58:00.002+08:00

today went to see the gynae for dasao with kor...
after that went to eat BK and i'm freaking FULL!!!!
so we head to Ridley Park to see Ferrari! NICE MAN!!
head home and while on the way...
WE ALMOST FUCKING MEET AN ACCIDENT!
that stupid Mazda car just came right into our line without doing anything!
fuck man!!
we almost got hit by that freako!
korkor got so angry and he drove right beside that guy
so i wind down the window to have a clearer view of that person and i started staring at him!
so did korkor *LOL!*
he don't even dare to look at us and kept on holding on the steering wheel. freak him!
so his friend turn and said sorry to us.
he's not even acknowledging that he's wrong lor!
what so good about driving a Mazda!
seriously it really did scare the shit out of me man...
luckily wainjiejie is not in the car if not...
btw while korkor turn out just to dodge the car, luckily there's no on-coming cars
if not i'm so DEAD!!
god is on our side! *Amen*

你了解吗？

2010-09-07T19:07:00.001+08:00

思念却不能说是最痛苦的。。。

i need help~

2010-09-06T20:25:00.002+08:00

another one of you guys said i'm special
so what exactly do you mean?
do they mean something or its just meaningless?
today i've really got no mood to study at all...headache, diarrhoea and muscle aching every where
i'm sick again, how come?!
will someone come and cure me?
sick and tired is what i'm feeling now.
besides that, i'm numb towards anything
feeling so cold and lethargic

barriers of prevention

2010-09-05T01:19:00.001+08:00

I feel that I'm starting to build barriers around myself...
for prevention I guess...

can you, can i, can we

2010-09-04T21:49:00.003+08:00

i'm still so full!!
after eating 1 1/2 piece of chicken, 1 cheese fries, 1/4 popcorn chicken and 1 regular mug. i look like a ---> (^(oo)^)
but is kinda cute la, the way i type it haha!
feel so pig...
i just can't stop admiring my GPSS shirt. its so damn gorgeous!
love it love it LOVE IT! ^-^
seriously, tmr i really need to start studying already :(
no more time to waste!
but i'm still so tired
NOT ENOUGH SLEEP AT ALL!!
today after market, went to buy breakfast to eat.
pass by 7-11 and i saw KITES!
oh man, i just wanna fly kite so badly...
i'm not going to depend on ppl to bring me to fly a kite already
its useless and disappointing
gonna go some day after my exams or maybe after attachments?
can't wait to go IMH for my attachment, it will be so damn fun i guess *excited*
i'm bored, feel like going out but too bad no one to go out with...jialat
now i feel like going to kbox, roller blading, fly kites, swimming, cycling, go-kart and sometimes i just wanna be alone.
feel like flooding myself with alcohol
drain all fluids out from my body
make myself so busy so that when i just lie on the bed, i can fall asleep straight
like what i'm doing nowadays.
i just feel so occupied and i like that
lastly don't blame me for saying this, you still owe me an explanation.
P.S: Don't you dare lie to me.

my life path is 7

2010-09-04T21:34:00.001+08:00

The Life Path 7 suggests that you entered this plane with a gift for investigation, analysis, and keen observation. You are a thinker of the first order. You evaluate situations very quickly, and with amazing accuracy. As a result, you are thorough and complete in your work, the perfectionist who expects everyone else to meet a high standard of performance, too.

A Life Path 7 person is a peaceful and affectionate soul. But you guard your connection to people carefully. It's easy for you to detect deception and recognize insincere people, and you avoid them. You aren't one to have a wide circle of friends, but once you accept someone as a friend, it's for life. It's as if you must get to know someone a lot better before you allow the wall surrounding you to be penetrated. Chances are you are a very charming and refined individual with great poise and a quick wit. Nonetheless, there is an exclusiveness about you. You probably aren't a very social person. Your reserve is often taken to be aloofness, but actually, it's not that at all. It is merely a cover up for your basic feeling of insecurity. There's no rush, It takes time for you to warm up to new friends. Clubs and organizations hold little interest for you; you are not a joiner.

You actually like being alone and away from the hustle and bustle of modern life. In many ways, you would have fit in better in much earlier times when the pace of life was less hectic. You need a good deal of quiet time to be with your own inner thoughts and dreams. You dislike crowds, noise, distractions, and confusion.

The overwhelming strength of the number 7 is reflected in the depth of thinking that is shown; you will garner knowledge from practically every source that you find. Intellectual, scientific, and studious, you don't accept a premise until you have dissected the subject and arrived at your own independent conclusion.

This is a very spiritual number and it often denotes a sort of spiritual wisdom that becomes apparent at a fairly early age. A built in inner guide providing a strong sense of intuition may set you up as being a law unto yourself. Whatever spiritual position you take, whether traditional or bizarre, you will cling to it with fervor. Once you have decided an issue, it is almost impossible to get you to revisit the question. Adaptability is not your style, and change for you is a rarity.

You rely heavily on your experiences and your intuition, rather than accepting advice from someone. Your hunches usually prove to be very accurate, and knowing this, you follow the directions they seem to guide.

In the most negative use of the 7 energies, you can become very pessimistic, lackadaisical, quarrelsome, and secretive. A Life Path 7 individual who is not living life fully and gaining through experiences, is a hard person to live with because of a serious lack of consideration for others. There is such a negative attitude. Indeed, operating on the negative side of the 7 can produce a very selfish and spoiled individual and living with one can be a challenge. This may be why some 7s actually prefer living alone. If you have any of the negative traits they are very difficult to get rid of because you tend to feel that the world really does owe you a living or that in some way you are not being fairly treated.

Fortunately, the negative 7 is not the typical 7, at least not without some mitigating positive traits. This number is one that seems to have some major shifts from highs to lows. Stability in feelings may be elusive for you.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
hope i didn't count wrongly :P

first deployment for GPSS

2010-09-03T21:15:00.002+08:00

sick of it!

2010-09-02T22:53:00.002+08:00

today is such a long day for me..
woke up at 8am to study and manage to sit on the chair until 2pm.*buttock numb!*
tired!
tmr gotta wake up damn early too!
because i have to reach ion by 9.30am
got deployed for tmr! for the GPSS!
media will be there too! hahaha hope nothing will happen. *finger crossed*
9.30am-2pm is really long because this few days didn't get to sleep much
at least i still can get to rest for 1day then continue on my bio and abnormal psycho
jiayou jiayou!!
i'm disappointed with myself today for my mental health.
i can think of other things while thinking of the question which i'm stuck
how cool is that?! LOL!
okay i'm done...gotta sleep after watching Cruel Temptation ^^
nights all!
love you all the most!

2010-09-02T00:55:00.003+08:00

gonna entertain the media this Friday for the Grand Prix Season Singapore (GPSS)
hope nothing will go wrong lol!
it will be at ion and we're going to reach there by freaking 9.30am...
so early...but it will be a good experience gained! right :)
tmr is the 3rd paper, I'm gonna chiong!!! jiayou!
mental health...damn you!!!
I'm lying on my bed and thinking, but don't know thinking about what.
weirdo me... trying to sleep(again). even though just now I slept until 5pm. shiok!
my mind is still processing. admiring my maru casing at the same time. wahaha!
okay ba, that's all for today. trying to get more sleep so that later I can wake up earlier to study.
P.S: my mum is a bejeweled addict!!! :P

maru casing for iphone!!

2010-08-31T20:52:00.006+08:00

today i dreamt of you again, so whats the hidden meaning then? hmmm...
yupp today i had my adult nursing paper and its...buang!!!!
totally cui!
hope at least i can sustain a pass ahaha
trying hard to study pharmacology but its just so hard..
DAMN IT!!!
so tired..like not enough sleep :(
oh ya! my mummy got so addicted to bejeweled on my itouch hahah!
she's talking to herself while playing. LOL!
i please her to cut fruits for me and guess what she say?!
----------------------------------------------------
jinhui: mummy please help me cut spain melon!
mummy:can't you see i'm busy?!
jinhui:busy? o.o
mummy:ya! busy playing game ma! you go cut it yourself.
----------------------------------------------------
LOL my mummy is so so so damn cute! hahahah!
love you mummy!
my sis help me buy this and i'm totally in love with it!! hahaha
its a maru iphone casing!!
i wanna go taipei with mummy on november but don't know got holiday not. :(
i'm gonna study hard for exam!!! jiayou jiayou!!

.

2010-08-30T23:18:00.001+08:00

THAT'S IT! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF MYSELF!!!!
fuck it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mugging like hell!

2010-08-30T20:15:00.003+08:00

can't believe that I still can come and blog...
omg....
tmr I'm gonna be so so dead...
I got no fucking mood to study!!!
really no no NO MOOD!!!!!
sickening to the max!
just manage to struggle through my adult nursing and gonna struggle through my pharmacology now.. :(
my mind can't process, how come?!?!
you are enjoying your life now right?
I'm just no one to you any more...
tmr I'll be so dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!
gotta go continue already.
someone please just help me!!
I'm so tired!

overwhelming piece of news...

2010-08-28T00:23:00.003+08:00

had an overwhelming feelings when I got to know about your situation.
at that point of time I'm really scared and worried for you...
have this urge of getting what I want, like immediately
because you'll never know what will happen to you the next minute...
please do take care sweetie..
anything you can just text or give me a call.
rmb I'm just a phone call away.
and ppl please do cherish what you have now.
grab hold to what you really wants before it's too late.
take care girl..
we all will be there for you.
loves

do you

2010-08-27T17:10:00.001+08:00

do you miss me like the way I miss you?

determination

2010-08-25T17:37:00.002+08:00

i'm back to reality
facing all the exam stress really can freak me out!
or i should say, i've no mood to study
is that determination or stubbornness?
i'm so determined about my decision but my heart just felt so heavy.
today i've got no mood to study.
tmr then study!
meeting pearlyn in school to study, not sure whose going also...
and i'm here to tell you
i miss you

break time

2010-08-22T23:09:00.001+08:00

I need a break from my life.
bye

the small details really matters

2010-08-22T20:03:00.000+08:00

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

:(

2010-08-22T19:04:00.002+08:00

i want you to be the one msging me and not some Tom, dick and Harry...
the sky is turning dark soon and my mind is all about you for the whole day...
I miss you...
I really do...
:(
:(
:(

my precious 'key'

2010-08-21T22:11:00.005+08:00

i am trying my best not to think of you but i fail
i'm utterly disappointed in myself i guess, i don't know
i'm alright when its day time, but when it comes to night time.torturing
what else can i do...?
tend to drift my attention everytime when i'm alone or when i'm with someone else.
chat with darling awhile just now and we're thinking how long am i going to let it go
answer: it will take forever unless...unless
the feeling of falling into your arms is nevertheless, great
but it won't be happening again, ever
i gave my hands to you, you held it but you let it go the next moment..
how am i going to believe in you ppl again?
trust?
my trust is FULL of doubts now
can my trust be regain in you?
my heart felt so heavy, as though i'm gonna sink
to be honest, i'm deeply sank in it.
trying my best to get out asap because i know there's no happy ending, i guess
unless there's miracle
actually i don't believe in miracle but i truly wanna believe it once, just this once
i'm pinning lots of high hopes and i know i shouldn't
because i know i will fall hard and hurt myself badly
without doing my best, i won't give up
thats my attitude towards it
doing my best doesn't mean i will bother you, don't worry i won't
there's really a lot of things running through my fucking mind too and i'm serious!
i've reached my peak and i'm still enduring
because i know i can be off the limit at times
you may think i'm silly for doing this, but thats my principle and i mean it
you once said thats not the worst hurt i've got and i can tell you that.
that very last hurt i've got is painful enough for me and it lasted for 1-2yrs time
yes it might not be the worse for you but its the WORST for me
do you know exactly how long i took to really put that trust into you?
maybe for you, you might think that its pretty easy to gain that trust from me..
but you will never know how much i worked to bring that trust back to you, guys
now, everything is gone i guess
if you're uniquely different, i want to see some miracles in my life
but if you're not...i have nothing to say
you said in the future there won't be any sad or emo post from my blog because you won't let it happen
it will only have happy and ecstatic posts
i wish...
thats impossible
is it always when i'm down, i'll get sick?
maybe?
having gastric pain throughout the night, and even few days back
having sleepless night since then...
how i wish attachment is on now!
so that my day can pass real fast
i don't think you will be reading my blog
and maybe i also don't wish to ba.
i don't wish you to see this side of me. being so pathetic and so shag
but i wish to see you.
i don't know how am i going to tell you what exactly i'm feeling now
the feeling is fucking unbearable
i'm out of vocabulary to use to explain my feelings now
thinking of you is my daily routine
missing you is like having my meals, i will miss you without fail
memories of us is the only survival key i have now
and i'm really precious about that 'key'
that 'key' is the main reason which brighten up my everyday life
i'm keeping it safe with me
i'm beat, finding myself so not myself any more
fuck la!
i'm reaching my fucking limit of tolerance
i will still endure, even though a minute is like years to me
i want to know things which i don't.
please just tell me some thing.
i'm exhausted *faint*

shag day...

2010-08-21T12:34:00.004+08:00

time really pass so fast when I'm busy and it's really good.
today is so damn busy!
and I'm so tired.. lucky ytd never agree with kor to come out at 2-3am to help.
if not, I'll be damn damn bloody shagg!!
still stone-ing at market..
feel like sleeping liao *yawn*

the thought

2010-08-21T00:19:00.002+08:00

I can't sleep.. the thought keep running through my mind.
I'm wondering, did you start thinking so much right after I spent the day at your house watching Poseidon?
if it's the case, I roughly know what you're thinking.
if I'm right, please let me know.